The Marauder's Vacation: The Cruise
by The Alien Marauder
Summary: MWPP in a sort of AU environment with Lily and Snape!
1. Prolouge

The Marauders' Vacation: The Cruise  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything so far, so please don't sue!  
  
This is dedicated to all my Harry Potter friends who helped come up with this idea! To Sirius' stalker, you know who you are, I still need a name!!!!!  
  
"I can't believe we're going on a CRUISE!" exclaimed Lily.  
  
"I know," replied James, "I just hope Padfoot here doesn't cause too much trouble."  
  
"Now why would you say something like that?" protested Sirius.  
  
"Because we know you." Grinned Remus.  
  
"No one could ever take you seriously" piped up Peter.  
  
"But I am Sirius!" insisted Sirius.  
  
"But you're not SERIOUS!"  
  
"YES I AM!"  
  
"GUYS!" yelled Lily, "Let's just forget this and get on the boat."  
  
Grumbling, they agreed and made their way to the boarding area. Remus, Sirius, and Peter lead the way and James with his arm around Lily brought up the rear. No one noticed a dark form following them.  
  
Snape sneered at the couple's backs as he watched the red-haired beauty's cute, tiny butt. "Someday Potter," he thought to himself, "you're girlfriend will be mine!"  
  
FEEDBACK GREATLY APPRECIATED! 


	2. Uh Oh, Lily's MAD!

After going through customs and baggage checks, the Marauders and Lily arrived at the boarding ramp.  
  
"Finally! I thought we'd never see the ship!" Remus exclaimed.  
  
"Well, we would have gone through the procedures faster if Sirius didn't wear a million pounds of metal." Said Lily irritably.  
  
"Hey! No one told me that I had to go through a beeping doorway!"  
  
"And tried to carry a few dozen dungbombs through customs," continued Lily.  
  
"That was a least a weeks suppl! What am I going to do now?" complained Sirius.  
  
"I dunno, pick up some hot girls on the ship?" grinned James. "I saw some hot girls ahead of us in line! They were hotter than any Hogwarts girl!"  
  
"Hotter than ANY Hogwarts girl?" asked a glaring Lily.  
  
"Well, er, um, not really but, you see..." James stammered.  
  
Lily smiled sweetly. "I understand perfectly."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Of course! But just so you know, THIS Hogwarts girl is through with a certain Hogwarts guy!"  
  
With that, an angry Lily stalked off toward the ship with the Marauders running after her. Again, no one noticed the slimy git lurking in the shadows smiling, making his face uglier.  
  
"Hey mate!" Snape heard someone yell. "You're late and the boss is angry again. Come one!"  
  
Before he could protest, this stranger dragged the bewildered Snape onto another section of the ship marked "Employees Only."  
  
AN: Feedback is greatly appreciated! 


	3. Man Overboard!

Chapter 3: Man Overboard  
  
Upon arriving on the ship, the Marauders and Lily were greeted by Captain Taylor.  
  
"Welcome aboard! I'm your captain, Taylor, for this trip. You'll find that this cruise will be very relaxing. For meals, I recommend the "all you can eat" buffet with a large variety of meats (A/N: This meat stuff has no relevance to this story, just a bad inside joke). However, we do have a wonderful end of the cruise banquet on the last night of the voyage. Let me introduce you to the entertainment staff, Lauren and Megan."  
  
"Like hi! My name is Lauren." Said a blonde who looked very ditzy. "I'm in charge of bingo and karaoke! You all HAVE to join!"  
  
The dark-haired girl besides Lauren just rolled her eyes. "Don't mind her, the bleach in her hair leaked into her brain and damaged it. My name is Megan and I'm in charge of the arts and crafts and sometimes help out in aerobics. The first aerobics lesson is tomorrow at nine in the morning. However, we do have bingo tonight. As Lauren was trying to say, the karaoke contest is in two days. It's a lot of fun and most people can't sing for their lives. For the lady, you might enjoy going to the spa and having a massage or getting a facial and manicure. The swimming pool in on the top deck and is open all night. Please, NO SKINNY DIPPING. Yes, this means you. Thank you and let me just remind you that we will be having a lifeboat drill before casting off."  
  
The five teenagers walked off to their respective rooms.  
  
A/N: I would have stopped it there, being that it is 11 at night, but some people have been telling me to make my chapters longer so I will go on.  
  
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"Attention, would all passengers please report to the decks for the lifeboat drill? Please proceed with caution to the nearest exit and make your way onto the deck."  
  
"We're all going to drown! We're all going to drown!" sang Sirius.  
  
"Please stop that, I think I'm getting seasick!" pleaded a very green Peter.  
  
"Peter! We haven't even gotten out to sea yet! How could you be sick?" exclaimed Remus.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Lily?" asked James tentatively.  
  
"What?"  
  
"If we are going to die, then I think that it should be better if we put the past behind us. I mean, we wouldn't want to die hold grudges against each other, would we?" asked a hopeful James.  
  
"Nice try, but we are NOT going to die, this is just a drill. You are not going to get away that easily." replied Lily.  
  
By this point, the five teenagers had arrived on the upper decks and were waiting patiently for the drill to end. Well, at least four out of the five were waiting patiently. Sirius, was jumping and flailing his arms around still singing, "We're going to die!"  
  
Unfortunately, Peter had run over to the rail to throw up the six Chocolate Frogs, five Pumpkin Pasties, and two glasses of Butterbeer that he had had for a snack. Sirius, who was not paying attention to where he was going or who was in the way, smacked Peter on the back. This threw the short teen over the rail and into the water. He landed with a SPLASH!  
  
"NEAT! Peter's going to die! Peter's going to die!" sang Sirius when he realized what had happened.  
  
"MAN OVERBOARD!" shouted a crew member.  
  
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! 


	4. B-I-N-G-O!

Chapter 4: B-I-N-G-O!  
  
"I hope Peter's alright" said a worried Lily.  
  
"He'll be fine, the ship's nurse didn't think that he had hypothermia." Reassured Remus.  
  
"Speaking of the nurse, she was hot!" Exclaimed Sirius. "James, what did you think?"  
  
"I'd rather no say."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because the last time he made a comment, he got put in the doghouse." Interjected Lily.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Come on guys, let's just go to Bingo!"  
  
"What is Bingo anyways? Lil?"  
  
"A game where you put ships down on your board and you need to get five chips in a row horizontally, diagonally, or vertically." Explained Lily. "When you get five chips in a row, you yell out BINGO!"  
  
"Like this? BINGO!" shouted Sirius.  
  
"Yes, That's right."  
  
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"And the next ball is, G73." Announced Megan.  
  
"BING… Hey!" cried Sirius as James' hand clamped over his mouth.  
  
"Sirius! For the last time, you can't say BINGO unless you have Bingo!" sighed an exasperated Lily. Sirius had taken a liking to the word and had been yelling it randomly. Everyone, even Megan the announcer, had been ignoring these outbursts.  
  
"Why can't I yell Bingo? It's fun to say the word! Bingo, bingo, BINGO!" Sang Sirius.  
  
"I25," yelled Megan.  
  
"BINGO!" shouted Remus, "I won! Hmm, I really like this game."  
  
"Hey!" whined Sirius, "I wanted to say that!"  
  
"Sirius, for the last time…YOU DON'T HAVE BINGO!" exclaimed James.  
  
"But…"  
  
"I give up!" cried a frustrated Lily. "I'm leaving. I'll see you all at dinner." She ran out of the room in search of anything to do.  
  
A/N: REVIEWS PLEASE! No more chapters until I get 15 reviews! 


	5. Dinner with the Ditz

Chapter 5: Dinner with the Ditz  
  
Author's Note: Ponygal, I can't believe that you wrote five reviews. LOL. My fan fiction obsessed friend warned me about asking for reviews! Anyway, I'm changing my ideas a little bit, it will have some sort of crossover with my favorite TV show later on (If you go on Lady-Mage Firebreeze poem or story, you can see that I've reviewed with scripts of episodes from the show). But for now, enjoy and please review!!!!!  
  
The day has ended and Lily and the Marauders regrouped for dinner. (A/N: Lily is still upset with James who needs to do some serious butt kissing. Any suggestions?)  
  
"Hey guys!" Lily said brightly. "How was the rest of your day?"  
  
"Well, James and I left Remus and set off a few dungbombs in the kitchen and then explored some decks below."  
  
"Dungbombs? I though the guards confiscated them from you!"  
  
"From me, yes," admitted Sirius, "But not from the stash that I put in James' bag!"  
  
"Sirius! James, I don't believe you!" cried Lily.  
  
"Me? How could I have known that Sirius smuggled them with my stuff?" protested James. "Besides, it felt good to play a prank again. I haven't played a prank in three days!"  
  
"Poor baby," said a sarcastic Lily.  
  
"C'mon, let's go eat, please?" begged Sirius.  
  
"We have to wait for Remus."  
  
"But, he won't mind!"  
  
"Well, okay, I am kinda hungry."  
  
"GREAT! LET'S EAT!"  
  
As the three teens rushed eagerly toward the banquet room, another teen glared at him, his eye twitching. Snape couldn't believe his bad luck, first, he had been dragged into the employee only section of the ship, mistaken for a dancing waiter. When he tried to protest it, his so-called boss yelled at him and told him to wash his hair.  
  
Wash his hair!!!!!!! With shampoo! Snape shuddered at the horrifying experience. He cringed at the thought of his beautiful hair…ruined! It had taken him months to finally have the grease drip off his hair. All of his hard work washed down the drain with the shampoo.  
  
And then, those insolent muggles had the nerve to put him into this penguin suit. He could deal with it, but the shirt and jacket were way too big for him while the pants looked like capris! Worse, he discovered that the person who they thought was him, Jesse, was a can-can girl in the show tonight!  
  
The last straw, though, was when he was working in the kitchen helping to prepare for tonight's banquet. Out of nowhere, he heard a loud "BANG!" and then the kitchen started to stink and fill up with smoke. Snape mentally kicked himself for not realizing sooner that the Marauders had something to do with that little prank. It was just like when those arrogant Gryffindors set of a hundred dungbombs in his common room! The room smelled for days!  
  
However, he smiled when he realized the advantage that he had. He worked in the kitchen and helped prepare the food. Although food poisoning was a tempting thought, he decided that he would anger Potter more by concocting a potion. A love potion to be exact. "Why not hit two birds with one stone?" he murmured to himself. "Lily will be mine and Potter will be heartbroken!"  
  
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Lily, James, and Sirius were led to a table in the dining room (Peter was in the infirmary and I think will be back soon, not sure yet!) Shortly after sitting down, a waitress came over to them.  
  
"Hi! My name is Monica and I'll be your waitress for this cruise," exclaimed the girl.  
  
"Hi, I'm Lily and these two idiots are James and Sirius."  
  
"Your name is Sirius?" questioned Monica.  
  
"Yea, and he's the complete opposite!" laughed James.  
  
"What? I don't get it." said a confused Monica. (A/N: This is exactly my friend in school! She's really smart, but is very gullible and it takes a while to understand jokes.)  
  
"Um, Monica," said Lily. "Sirius is definitely not serious, that's the joke!"  
  
"But, wait! Now I get it!"  
  
"Not the brightest crayon in the box, now are we?" whispered James  
  
Just then, Remus rushed in. "Sorry that I'm late guys!"  
  
"Remus! Where were you?" exclaimed Lily.  
  
"May I help you?" asked Monica.  
  
"Um, no, it's okay, I'm with them." Replied Remus. Turning to Lily and the two guys, he answered, "I have a new favorite game…BINGO! I kept winning and winning!"  
  
"BINGO!!!"  
  
"No Sirius, this is not the time to be shouting Bingo!"  
  
"But…"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"C'mon guys, let's just eat!"  
  
Author's Note: Like it? It tried to make my chapters longer! Um, ten more review from DIFFERENT people and I'll post the next chapter. 


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